There was once a time when "Final Fantasy" meant greatness, when seeing Square's brand on a game box meant you were about to play something special. That time has long since passed. In today's gaming landscape, Final Fantasy is more punchline than powerhouse, more quantity than quality. After the mediocre Final Fantasy XIII and the sheer disaster that was Final Fantasy XIV, many fans have lost faith in the RPG titan.

Final Fantasy XIII-2 is the publisher's attempt to mend this relationship. At times, it feels like the development team just went down a laundry list and added everything that fans believed Final Fantasy XIII lacked. Non-linear dungeons? Check. Sidequests? Check. NPCs and towns? Check, check. In other words, the whole game seems like one big apology.

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Nintendo is coming off of a pretty rough fiscal year, posting an anticipated loss of ¥65 billion ($839M) despite strong sales for Super Mario 3D Land and Mario Kart 7. They're optimistic for the future, naturally, with the 3DS performing well since the price drop and the Wii U right around the corner, but that enthusiasm hasn't been enough to repair the company's trading value.

It's a serious situation with meaningful implications both for stockholders and the industry as a whole, so who better to provide a comprehensive breakdown of the situation than the incomprehensibly bizarre and often disturbing creative powerhouse that is NMA TV. If you've seen any of their other videos, you've got a good idea of what to expect in the media briefing above. If not, you'd better sit down.

Yesterday, we reported that Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning will make use of EA's Online Pass system, and that used copies of the game will not include access to a specific quest line, similar to Catwoman's Online Pass exclusion from used copies of Batman: Arkham City. Initially, it looked as though the pass granted access to data already on the disc, however this was later clarified by a post made on the 38 Studios Forums, where community manager Muse informed the public that the quest line is in fact day-one DLC, rather than content actually on the disc.

38 Studios founder Curt Schilling has written his own statement regarding the situation, and it's just about as frank and honest as we've come to expect from Schilling over the last couple of days: "You can argue the merits and effectiveness of it, but right now it's how it's done and as someone that's as invested as I am in this company, I stand by what has happened."

Schilling goes on to say that the free DLC is intended to be an incentive to early adopters and a reward for "fans and gamers who commit to us with their time and money when it benefits the company." He does, however, realize that the situation could have been handled differently: "It is my responsibility as the leader to know of things like this and be aware that it would become an issue, I failed on both accounts. No one else is to blame, but at the same time there is no nefarious attempt to do anything under handed here."

Minecraft has demonstrated some magnificent feats of community creation, but now it's also offering a lesson in the volatile side of crowd-sourcing. Changing the language to Afrikaans, spoken in South Africa and Namibia, yesterday caused the title screen to display the phrase "You are a NIGGER." As Minecraft Forums user EgXPlayer commented, "Thats racist."

Mojang's Jens Bergensten apologized for the slur and encouraged fans to check the new translation via Crowdin -- the Afrikaans home screen now reads "enkelspeler," which translates to "single player," as it should.

Edmund McMillen's The Binding of Isaac, a dark, "Roguelike" exploration of childhood trauma, is close to selling 450,000 copies.

"It's just ridiculous, there's no reason for this game to have done well. It's nice for everyone involved," McMillen said in an interview with IndieGames.

"When I started development on Isaac, I wasn't even sure if I should charge for it, because I didn't think people would want it, in all honestly. I had to shop it around to a bunch of different developers, and say like 'Do you think I could sell this?', because I thought it was way too weird, I thought the content was too disturbing and creepy. I thought it would just rub too many people the wrong way and I thought the design was just too hardcore for any kind of mass amount of people to enjoy."

Due to the success of Isaac, McMillen and crew are currently working on The Wrath of the Lamb expansion, which will be $3 and launch "when it's done."

By this point, the shiny veneer of newness has worn off of Sony's rapidly approaching Vita and we're all pretty used to how the thing looks. Not everyone has seen it in person yet, granted, but we've all seen it, and its PSP-ish profile and itty-bitty analogue sticks have settled into that comfortable zone of mental familiarity.

The device could have been remarkably different, however. For instance, Sony designer Takashi Sogabe (responsible for the Walkman, among other things) had originally intended for the Vita to be a much more svelte device: "The original design of the PS Vita, for example, was very much thinner than the current retail product," Sogabe said during an interview with The Guardian. "From a designer's point of view, thinner is better-looking, but the engineers wanted to put all the features in. Maybe it will become thinner in the future, but the engineers would have to come up with a means to do that."

There was also a time when the Vita's shape had more in common with the DS than the PSP: "We came up with various patterns, including a clamshell one. Then we discussed it with a lot of publishers and settled on this shape." In the long run, Sony decided that it would be a better idea to transfer the PSP's brand equity to the Vita by having the devices look similar.

One major difference between the PSP and Vita, however, is the latter's massive screen, which at 5 inches makes it the biggest screen on any dedicated portable gaming device this side of an iPad. That figure had started at 5.5 inches, according to Sogabe, but was scaled back seeing as this is a portable device and everything. We like Sony's ambition with hardware design, but we'd still rather have the real Vita over a giant, wafer-thin abalone.

Dead Block, a zombie-themed action strategy title released on PSN and XBLA last year, is now available on PC. Dead Block didn't exactly set the world on fire when it was released, but those interested in its rockabilly take on the zombie apocalypse can pick it up from several download services for $10.

Find the full list of sellers -- missing Steam, notably -- after the break.

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Earlier this week, it was announced that Aliens: Colonial Marines would be delayed until autumn. Although upsetting, this news would not have seared itself upon my brain had Barry White's "You're the First, The Last, My Everything" not been playing on Spotify radio. Just keep looking at the above picture and listen to the song here. So inappropriate.

What's everyone playing?

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For those not content with simply downloading the PC version of Alan Wake next month, Nordic Games has some good news. The Swedish publisher will be releasing a boxed version of Alan Wake's PC outing, with an official launch date to be announced in "the next few days."

Like its downloadable cousin, the boxed version will also include both of Alan Wake's DLC episodes, "The Signal" and "The Writer."

Here at Joystiq, we pride ourselves on being inside your mind, knowing what it wants, knowing what it thinks. We're like a somewhat creepier, less linguistic Babel Fish. The one thing your brain has been demanding is an updated version of 2002's Command & Conquer: Renegade.

We'd like to bring to your attention Renengade X: Black Dawn, a "spiritual successor" created by fans at Totem Arts. Tomorrow, the group will release the full single-player "mini-campaign," which was built in the Unreal Development Kit, and later Totem Arts plans to release a new multiplayer installment using the UDK.

In its current form, Renegade X is an updated version of the original game's multiplayer, made in Unreal Tournament 3, and has been playable for some time. If you want to partake, you'll need to own a copy of Unreal Tournament 3 with the latest updates.

Or, you know, just wait a day.

[Thanks, ssjChris!]

Lumbering manly mech news now, with Double Fine and Microsoft confirming the launch price of next Wednesday's substantial Iron Brigade (Trenched) expansion, "Rise of the Martian Bear." In exchange for 400 MS Points, or five Earth bucks, the DLC grants you four new maps (two of which can be played in Survival mode), a new boss fight, a diverse armory of beefed-up weapons, more customization options and, most importantly, a sombrero.

Those disappointed by Iron Brigade's lack of ambidextrous salutations will be pleased to hear about the free title update launching alongside the patch. It'll jolt your character's left arm to life, allowing it to perform gestures just like the one on the right. Oh, sure, the patch also ensures compatibility between regular and DLC-equipped players, but you have to appreciate the little things -- even when the game's about big stuff stomping around.

The Binding of Isaac: Unholy Edition is a DRM-free PC and Mac version that includes a free Steam gift key, the full soundtrack, a poster and a 40-page art book. Developed by Edmund McMillen of Super Meat Boy's Team Meat, The Binding of Isaac premiered on Steam in September along with an adorable plush from the Team Meat Shop on Etsy.

If you don't yet know why that darling doll is crying, go ahead and pick up The Binding of Isaac on Steam for $5, or wait for the Unholy Edition to launch in the UK at an unknown price. Or you can just listen to this song, whose recurring line is "To the basement, people, to the basement / Many surprises await you / In the basement, people, in the basement / You hid there last time, you know we're gonna find you."

Update: Merge Games, the publisher behind Isaac's Unholy Edition, is based in the UK. While it doesn't list the retail version specifically as UK-only, we assume that is, in fact, the case. All you North Americans can just crawl back into your basements now, thanks. We've reached out to Merge Games for clarification.

Imagine Theatrhythm: Final Fantasy, but with a guitar-wielding rocker slicing zombies apart instead of cutely rendered Final Fantasy characters meandering through peaceful meadows. This isn't just a psychotic thought exercise -- it's the premise of Zombie Slayer Diox, the second 3DS eShop game from UFO Interactive and the second UFO game to feature both guitars and zombies.

Players control Diox, a guitarist from the year 20xx looking for an amp with infinite zombie killing power, and destroy lines of zombies by swiping in prescribed directions. You'll find your zombie killing instrument on the eShop in "early 2012."

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Microsoft's language filter on Xbox Live is strangling the linguistic skills of Quarrel players, banning such words as "help," "train," "balls" and "shaft" from being played. While we can understand the potential risque-ness of some of these words -- especially "help," which we're sure was added at the request of the XBL customer-service team -- without context we don't see the harm in them.

These words are fair game in singleplayer (with the Family Setting turned off), but Microsoft adds an extra filter to Live play, developer Denki's Gary Penn told Edge: "Quarrel uses the Collins official Scrabble dictionary comprising over 110,000 words up to eight letters in length, including a huge collection of words deemed 'offensive' by Collins, such as 'arse', 'shit', 'wank' and 'fuck.'"

Other banned words include "start," "skid," "poop," "hung," "dice" and "god." We're stumped on how to use "dice" in an offensive manner, but we've seen "fag" flung around Xbox Live chat with alarming, unfiltered regularity, so we're not going to try to figure out Microsoft's regulation process here.